Sadly, most of the information we’ve heard about relationships are actually myths. I’m sure these myths started out as helpful tips, but over time they have become non-truths that have stopped many people from find healthy relationships that they enjoy. Below are 5 common relationship myths that lead to unhealthy dating habits.
“I can only be happy in a relationship”
The purpose of a relationship is for two people to come together and make one healthy and happy relationship. It’s important that each individual in the relationship is happy with themselves and feel secure on their own before they enter a relationship. The saying “You have to love yourself before someone else can love you,” may be a cliche, but it’s true. Being yourself and being happy in general is the key to having a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.
“I’ll be able to change the things I don’t like about my partner”
No one is perfect. Imagine if someone said they wanted to change something about you? You would be upset, because you probably don’t think anything is wrong. Everyone has things they need to improve on. If something is so bad about a person that you feel you need to change it, then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. People only change when they want to change, and you may have a problem with something that doesn’t actually need to be changed. However, there are some specific instances when it’s okay to help change your partner. For example, if your partner asks you to help them change then accept the invitation and assist your partner.
“Arguments will always cause problems in our relationship”
Arguments in relationships don’t have to mess everything up. There are always going to be situations where you and your partner don’t agree. The way to get through these situations is to calmly discuss the circumstances and compromise. After a while you will get a sense of how your partner feels about certain topics and how they will react. Don’t belittle your partners feelings because they have the right to have an opinion different from yours.
“If I don’t feel an instant attraction to someone, it’s not worth pursuing a relationship with them”
If you have a tendency to choose incompatible partners, you probably agree with this myth. Choosing partners based strictly on physical attraction always ends badly. Although physical appearance is something to take into consideration, but things like lifestyle and personality are more important. Over the years, a person’s physical attributes will change. If that is the only think you like about them, you may stop being attracted to them which will cause problems in the relationship.
“A great relationship has nothing to do with sex”
Sex is an important and often complicated part of any romantic relationship. The first thing you and your partner should decide early on is whether or not you want sex to be a part of the relationship. If one partner is expecting a sexual relationship and the other partner is abstinent, this can lead to major complications in the future. If both partners desire a sexual relationship, they should discuss their expectations with their partner. A lack of communication about sex can destroy the intimacy in the relationship.
What other tips do you have for successful relationships?
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My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years and I would say the most important thing in looking for a companion is finding someone with similar values. You don’t have to love all of the same things but you do have to have the same outlook on life and agree on what’s important. And my number one tip is to fight friendly. It’s ok to have arguments, but try to keep them constructive. Hurling insults at one another will get you nowhere.